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Episode 214 - Slaves of the Abyss part 4
08/02/2023

An old man was scamming us for money and food, and you bunch of suckers voted for us to help him. Doing the decent thing? It’s like you lot don’t even know us…

Episode 213 - Slaves of the Abyss part 3
07/26/2023

Don't go north, don't go east... Death (with a capital D) lies in every direction. Stay in Kallameeeehhhhrr...? Who even knows any more...  

Episode 212 - Slaves of the Abyss part 2
07/19/2023

Don't go north apparently. Ok, sure, but what if, and hear me out... we go north...?

Episode 211 - Slaves of the Abyss part 1
07/12/2023

It's a new book with a problematic title, as Mark faces invasions to the north and new threats from the east, as well as the looming terror of potential orgies. Maybe give this one a miss, just to be safe...?

Episode 210 - Battleblade Warrior part 7
07/05/2023

We're surrounded by LIZARDMEN, and only fans of the podcast won't twitch at the disturbing antics on display in this episode.

Episode 209 - Battleblade Warrior part 6
06/28/2023

We've spent six episodes reading this book, and it finally looks like we're going to run into the monster from the cover. That'll be exciting, right? Right? RIGHT?!

 
Episode 208 - Battleblade Warrior part 5
06/21/2023

We deal with our hatred of the most repulsive creatures we've ever seen by fighting the most repulsive creature we've ever seen, in our most cleverly satirical episode to date. 

Episode 207 - Battleblade Warrior part 4
06/14/2023

We put the "fun" into "funeral," the "shame" into "shaman," and the "orc" into "awkward." Those last two don't really work written down, so why not get someone else to read this out to you?

Episode 206 - Battleblade Warrior part 3
06/07/2023

What's the difference between a pony and a sabre-toothed tiger? Well if you don't know, I don't want to go horse riding with you!

Episode 205 - Battleblade Warrior part 2
05/24/2023

Lizard Man Champion? Lizard Man CHUMP-ion we call him. Not to his face though. He's got four arms! 

 
Episode 204 - Battleblade Warrior part 1
05/17/2023

Exciting times as we start a new book! In this one, we play an ordinary, normal person who's chosen by a magical being to go on a quest. For a change. 

Episode 203 - Chasms of Malice part 4
05/10/2023

Being an assistant rabbit-skinner in Gorak is a dangerous career path. One day you're helping skin rabbits, the next you're handed a magic sword and a cat and told to go and kill a load of magic monsters. 

Episode 202 - Chasms of Malice part 3
05/03/2023

Round like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel, losing stamina and skill points, no provisions help me heal.  Repetition is funny, right?  

Episode 201 - Chasms of Malice part 2
04/26/2023

The tunnels (corridors) in the Chasms of Malice are full of cyphers and riddles designed for children, so two grown men should be able to solve them easily. If you've never listened before, you might believe that. 

Episode 200 - Chasms of Malice part 1 LIVE
04/19/2023

We've reached a big round episode number, so it's time to read a book and roll some dice with a live internet audience again! Bad stat rolling... LIVE! Rule breaking... LIVE! Dick mushing... LIVE! We know what you like.  

Episode 199 - Midnight Rogue part 9
03/29/2023

In this episode we battle a FOOTPAD, in front of some other FOOTPADS, after finding out what the hell a FOOTPAD is. 

Episode 198 - Midnight Rogue part 8
03/22/2023

The book said we had to go back to the beginning, but we kept all our rolls, gold and equipment. No-one said we were wrong, so it's time to get twice as much stuff before failing twice as hard.   

 
Episode 197 - Midnight Rogue part 7
03/15/2023

We cave in to peer pressure and finally get on with the story, but the story has other ideas. Stupid smelly old book!

Episode 196 - Midnight Rogue part 6
03/08/2023

"Choose three skills," says the book.  "Great," we reply, "will they be helpful in our adventure?" "Phhh. Probably...?" the book shrugs. Books lie.

 
Episode 195 - Midnight Rogue part 5
03/01/2023

If you shimmy up a drainpipe you should be prepared to deal with the consequences, which in this case involve badly-written paragraphs and vague instructions. No wonder kids never played these things properly.  

 
Episode 194 - Midnight Rogue part 4
02/22/2023

After playing a slow game of knifey-knifey stab hand in the tavern it’s time to head to the Merchant’s Guild, which sounds much safer and definitely probably might not lead to any fights with monsters or existential crises.  

 
Episode 193 - Midnight Rogue part 3
02/15/2023

After Martyn's disastrous run-in with dogs and servants, Mark dons the jerkin of the Midnight Rogue. But as soon as he puts the jerkin on, will he want to take the jerkin off?

Episode 192 - Midnight Rogue part 2
02/01/2023

More apprentice parallels this week, as we try our best to be creative but are let down by our own limited understanding of the situation, and the outcome was decided before we even started the task.

Episode 191 - Midnight Rogue part 1
01/25/2023

Being an apprentice for the Thieves' Guild is a lot like being an apprentice for Alan Sugar. It feels like you're working towards a goal, but really it's just hours of pointless busywork before you randomly win or lose.

Episode 190 - Phantoms of Fear part 6
01/18/2023

How much wood would a Wood Elf elf, if a Wood Elf could elf wood? That makes about as much sense as anything else that happens in this episode.

Episode 189 - Phantoms of Fear part 5
01/11/2023

He’s got legs, he knows how to use them, Newly grown legs, he knows how to choose them, Runs into Bhorkets, wonder how to fight them, Would you get behind them if you could only find them? 

Episode 188 - Phantoms of Fear part 4
01/04/2023

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head, And just like the guy whose body's gone and left for dead, Roll into a cave, Those raindrops are fallin' on my limbs, and my torso, Because they're gone, My head is no longer on... 

Episode 187 - Phantoms of Fear part 3
12/21/2022

Stars shining bright above you, Tree Devils seem to whisper "I'll blind you," They'll pierce your eyes so you'll never see, Dream a little dream of me...

Episode 186 - Phantoms of Fear part 2
12/14/2022

Wood Elves won't eat meat as they find it morally reprehensible. But they will happily slaughter any woodland creature who so much as gives them a funny look. DON'T EAT THEM, JUST MURDER THEM! That's the Wood Elf way. 

 
Episode 185 - Phantoms of Fear part 1
12/07/2022

We go deep into the woods and even deeper into the subconscious mind, as we explore the dreams of a wood elf wandering around a forest in Phantoms of Fear.

Episode 184 - Star Strider part 6
11/30/2022

We're trying to save the president but we're running out of space-future-time units and being forced to try to read a map. We all know how this one's going to end, right? 

Episode 183 - Star Strider part 5
11/23/2022

Dodgy dealers, disastrous driving and disgusting droids hamper our progress this week as we face off against several slippery customers. Really slippery. Unnecessarily slippery.

Episode 182 - Star Strider part 4
11/16/2022

In this episode we fight a charging ROBO-BULL, a paper-pushing ADMINDROID, and a maths puzzle made for lonely ten year olds. Guess which one causes the most pain to two men in their forties...

Episode 181 - Star Strider part 3
11/09/2022

Fresh off a victory against the legendary Kinta Lopsti, we head to see the Houlgans in search of Jose 90. This is all real stuff someone wrote in a book. And people bought it. 

Episode 180 - Star Strider part 2
11/02/2022

Martyn picks up a Catchman and jumps on a Silverhound, looking for trouble with every lazily-written, plagiarised and barely-concealed alien race in this robo-sector of the space-future-rocket-galaxy. 

Episode 179 - Star Strider part 1
10/26/2022

It’s time to go to the space future again as Mark becomes a Bounty Hunter, or a Rogue Tracer, or a Star Strider, or maybe all three. So prepare for zipcars instead of horses, and robots instead of goblins. See, it’s different.

Episode 178 - Crypt of the Sorcerer part 6
10/19/2022

Chameleonites to the left of us, Rad-Hulks to the right, here we are, stuck having another go at this book. Democracy won, so we're trying again. But will we reach the Crypt of the Sorcerer? 

Episode 177 - Crypt of the Sorcerer part 5
10/12/2022

Low on stamina and high on stolen armour, Mark is ready to face whatever enemies the Crypt of the Sorcerer can throw at him. He came here to drink tots of health potion and kick ass, but he's all out of tots. 

Episode 176 - Crypt of the Sorcerer part 4
10/05/2022

Martyn’s a werewolf now, so Mark has to step up and continue looking for whatever it was we were supposed to be looking for in the Crypt of the Sorcerer.

Episode 175 - Crypt of the Sorcerer part 3
09/28/2022

We grab our rod in the woods, which is less fun than it sounds. Or more fun, your mileage may vary. Either way, there's cause "fur" concern, and Martyn may not live to tell the "tail..."

Episode 174 - Crypt of the Sorcerer part 2
09/14/2022

We continue reading the Crypt of the Sorcerer, the only fantasy book ever written containing magic rings, tree people, and thinly disguised problematic racist stereotypes. 

Episode 173 - Crypt of the Sorcerer part 1 LIVE
09/07/2022

We’re back from our break and we’re DOING IT LIVE, as we crack open the Crypt of the Sorcerer in front of a streaming YouTube crowd of people-with-nothing-better-to-do.

Episode 172 - Marvel Super Heroes: City In Darkness part 2
07/27/2022

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Giving heart attacks is his plan, Late for meetings, every time, Barely bothers fighting crime, Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man! 

 
Episode 171 - Marvel Super Heroes: City In Darkness part 1
07/20/2022

Excelsior True Believers! We take a short break from Fighting Fantasy and try out a different gamebook series, as Mark becomes a web-slinging wonder in 1986 New York City who really needs those condensers. 

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